What is an office without diversity? Diversity is the heart and soul of a workplace. Imagine a team with all talkative people or a team with all introverts! The output would either be a continuous pointless chatter or a deadly silence, both of which are really boring and monotonous. Diversity adds spark and at the same time, it’s trying too. No matter where you work, you encounter all kinds of people; some you can get along with and some you just can’t bear their sight of. Here are some kinds of quirky personality types you come across in your workplace and hate them for that. See where you fit in and how to recognise one!
1. Politically Correct
Goodie two-shoes and robotic, these people are very much inclined towards living and breathing the company values. If you go to them with a problem, they’d always try to come out with diplomatic answers. Their answers are straight out of the book. Actually, they are people who want to be on the safer side and not bear the brunt of anyone’s contempt or opposition.
How to spot one: Some examples of statements you can hear from them:
• You’re not late; you just have a “rescheduled arrival time.”
• It’s not called gossip anymore. It’s “the speedy transmission of near-factual information.”
The Ass Kissers. Boot-lickers. Brown Nosers. Apple Polishers. Whatever you want to call them, the sycophants are just plain annoying because they don’t have any dignity and suck up to their higher-ups. These people exist in abundance. While they are unanimously hated, no one can stand up to them because of their special place in your boss’s heart and ass. People in this group are both extra-sweet and slippery. Beware of what you say around them because you know they are just gathering ammo. Your boss probably knows how fake they are, but they make bosses feel special and powerful.
How to spot one: They sing happy birthday the loudest on the boss’s special day.
“Charm is the ability to create extraordinary rapport that makes others feel exceptional.” This explains what the charming ones do. They want to be in the good books of everyone. So they’d stoop to any level to be there. They personally might not approve of many of their colleagues, but would not display any anger or disapproval. They always want to please their co-workers and wouldn’t utter a word of criticism. Such people are quite dangerous. They get their work done by doing sweet talk. They’d be overly concerned about you and also remember every small thing you tell them. So you see they have an amazing memory. They have trouble coping with conflict, avoiding it as much as they can. Therefore, they also don’t do well at constructive criticism.
How to spot one: Too much sweet-talk, so much so that you feel you’re getting attracted to them and are on cloud number 9.
Another word to describe them would be weirdos. They are extremely moody people. Everyone has ups and downs in life, but the grumpy ones are hardly happy. Once in a blue moon can you see them smiling and that could be on the day of their promotion or a pay hike. These are people who always look like they have swallowed a snake and are always with a frustrated look on their face. They behave as if they have the responsibility of the whole world. Wherever they go they spread an aura of negativity. Their very presence is a similar to that of the dementors (if you’ve read Harry Potter, you’d know!). You feel your happiness vanishing and depression gripping you.
How to spot one: Wish them on their birthday and their reply would be ‘Bloody Skype’. Escape from them if you feel a dark cloud of unhappiness surrounding you.
5. Lazy Bones
They are too busy browsing the web, or chatting with their virtual friends at work. They even pass their work to other members. They will never be around when needed most. And they will always have an excuse for their absence. You can get angry at them it won’t make an iota of difference. They take the longest breaks and also the unnecessary mini-breaks. Like I said, do anything to avoid work.
How to spot one: Their absence and ‘I don’t care’ attitude explains it all, doesn’t it? Also you can find them on the phone every now and then.
Remember those kids who used to dominate you in school and your society? Well, the office bullies are just their grown-up version. Their weapons are ridicule, overt attitude and verbal abuses. Their main objective is to establish themselves at the top of the corporate pecking order. It’s said that office bullies are highly insecure people with personal problems. They use their victims to act out feelings of basic worthlessness.
How to spot one: It shouldn’t be difficult to recognise one. They are usually very loud and always throwing orders around like no one’s business.
7. Credit Stealers
Did you notice your idea and credit have been taken by someone else? Yes, these are credit hungry people, but they’d want it only by stealing it from someone else. They are opportunists. Insecure of themselves, they lack confidence. They may be watching a cricket match while you are doing the trouble shooting but they will be quick to declare that the idea used in trouble shooting was theirs when it’s all done and over. They try to prove that they are good even if it takes stealing credit from others.
How to spot one: Not a very subtle bunch. They are permanently in a self-congratulatory mood and patting their own backs.
8. Chronic Complainers:
They use drama and complaints to make their boring lives interesting. They dramatise all aspects of their life to grab attention. They are fault-finding, blaming, and certain about what should be done but they never seem able to correct the situation by themselves. Often they have a point — there are real problems — but their complaining is not effective (except it is designed to prove someone else is responsible).
How to spot one: They wear the constipated look and whine away all the time. They are busy finding the clouds from every silver lining.
The office fashionistas are the typical dimwitted staff who, more often than not, spends time on frivolous activities that do not involve work, such as looking at the mirror, combing their hair, correcting their clothes and discussing fashion trends. They wear fashionable, but inappropriate clothes which make them the laughing stock of the office. And yet, they don’t care.
How to spot one: Ah, did you see the most ludicrously fashionable person in your office in fluorescent flashy outfits? There you go; she/he is the style guru!!
In the end, work can be a distant memory when it’s time to return home. Outside the confines of the work place, you laugh at the entertainment and also miss them. Life is fun and so can be work, co-workers, and workplace if we can manage the diversity well!
(To be continued…)